Every once in awhile I will be flipping through some ESPN and Fox Sports looking for something to watch. Just browsing after a game has ended, or maybe one of the shows I watch. As the channel steady’s on ESPN2, some short chump wearing a proven all-pro wide receivers jersey is running his mouth. Saying how he is gonna pound it down your throat, beat you deep down the field, and stomp your quarterback so hard, it brings back memories of Trent Edwards at Stanford. No, he isn't talking about his football skills on the field, not even in a pick up tag football, but he is holding some white remote, screaming at the television, and running his mouth to some opponent in a chair. Honestly maddon nation enthusiasts, these guys are absolute claimers. These "elite" players talk crap about how much better they can mash buttons then you. If some guy kept running his mouth to me like they do in Madden Nation, I would kick him right in the throat. Or at least disconnect his controller. You know how upset that prick would be. "Dude, you DC'd my mote, it's cuz im so OP isn't it. It's cuz your a newb isn't it? Going around DC'in my mote...playa please!" Where once again I would proceed to kick that douche right in his face. Just above all his chains and necklaces, right between the fake rocks his got pierced through his attached ear lobes.
Honestly, these guys are freaking funny to watch for maybe like five minutes. I just realize how much these guys enjoy playing football on XBOX how it's not supposed to be played. I mean hell, you watch these guys run an offense and you know what they do? I give you a little taste. "First the claimed elite troller masher drops back in the pocket 15-20 yards, defeating the purpose of a pocket. He then runs left where he proceeds to throw the ball 35 yards into double coverage across his body." Great football huh? Except he will probably catch one of four of those roll outs and take it to the house. Then we get to see his gamer dance which looks like it was choreographed on dance revolution, and clown on the opponents’ mom and skills, and say how thats you mash buttons and click that analog stick.
Next time I stumble upon these ridiculous show of clowns wearing jerseys and fake ice, I will contemplating shooting myself. After my adrenaline subsides I will just turn the tv off. Then hop in my truck, find the Madden Nation bus, and personally reset all those fools XBOX's and mass delete there gamerscores for life.
Oh, by the way. If you are so lucky to hear one of their tips, you will never lose the game. My boy hollywood can run the same play everytime and get 5-7 yards. Everytime. But tell my hollywood, how come you dont win everygame? I'd take a play out of madden 96', run Key HB. Suck that dime package scheme!
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